Dateline: Athens, March 21, 2012. "Yesterday world leaders collectively decided to drive the bus over the cliff. Screams could be heard from the passengers: Save the Acropolis from the Apocalypse! It is not yet known whether there are any survivors. World markets are collapsing by the minute as the representatives of the G 20 meet in Brussels with IMF and World Bank officials. Can catastrophe be averted? Wolf Blitzer will have more on this from the Situation Room at the top of the hour."
Of course, I'm making all of this up. Normally, I write fiction about vampires, which puts me in pretty good stead to talk about the blood sucking that's consuming our planet wholly faster than I can type these words. Greed, corruption, cronyism and inept leadership all make important contributions to this nail-biting narrative. But the one common thread that weaves and binds this sadly needless story together is leadership; the failed, vacuous, spineless pseudo-captains of politics, finance and industry that were so starry-eyed by their own beguiling siren songs, that the chorus of the common good never even got a first audition. Golden parachutes, million dollar book advances and speeches before the writhing masses of zombie capitalists and hung over politburos all took precedent over good governance and global stewardship. Whether at the barrel of a gun, or by a hanging chad, these are our leaders. And their magnificent malfeasance is truly breathtaking to behold.
Too poor to even pay attention? Then you might try a little Fox News, or the Bilderberger Report (subscription required) or getting your first born into the Tri-Lat Sorority at Broke Back U. I've been castigated more than a little often for being overly brainy, too interested in world affairs, and out of touch with the commoner's plight. Ironically, if we'd been holding all of our leaders to this same threshold of humanness, I'd still be writing about fictional bloodsuckers...
The problem is one of character (even though the cast includes thousands.) It takes courage to lead. America beheads the courageous, rewards the dangerous and enshrines the ludicrous. The entire concept of nobility is a cast-off garment, seldom worn and trampled furiously on the dusty floor of our precious democracy. We would no sooner accept a leader of aristocratic character and values, than we'd make Newt the Fifty-First Governor on the Moon. The culture itself manifests it's own destiny; and we're getting exactly what we ordered, moreover, what we deserve.
Next time, I might actually still have the platform to launch into the Greek situation. The story itself is completely gripping, full of intrigue, international espionage, conspiracies and the like. Stay tuned for the latest and greatest of your favorite characters: Mittens with Mormon Vixens; Newt and the Stepford Solution; In Search of Barack on the Shining Path: Tales From the Hawaiian Jungle. All this, and much, much more await you on the next episode of Postscripts from the Ledge. Now a word from our most generous sponsors, Ambien...
